random blurb

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp1BYzIVi0U&feature=feedf

wow, he is AMAZING. simply talented, i must say.

____

got my grades for winter quarter; holy crap what am i going to do?!
i really hope this quarter will be better. i will try harder.
I WILL GO THE DISTANCE!

one in 3.4 billion...

One in 3.4 billion...
So i was thinking about happy couples today, an what an amazing miracle each one truly is!

there are 3.4 billion men this world. 3.4 BILLION. what are the chances that you end up with the right ONE?

starting from a young age, I've been compiling a list of qualities that I long for my future spouse to have, and unsuccessfully, I have yet to find him...
but it makes sense. it's going to take time to find this male, and I realize that it's not going to be easy!

lately, i've come to accept the fact that I'm probably going to be single for a while-- or probably, anyway.
but i really accept it. i know, believe, and accept that God has someone specially designed to do life with me out there. amongst that myriad of males, there is one whom is destined to be the other half of my 'happily ever after'.

of course, i always complain and wish that i could find this person soon...
but perfection takes time (: i really don't want to settle for someone who's not meant to be; it's like trying to fit two puzzle pieces that just don't go together. i can squish and try to distort myself into something i'm not, but in the end it will only hurt me and cause me to spend more time to mend myself into my original shape again. haha, if that even makes sense.

i want to meet someone whom i can truly click with, you know? at the end of the day, i feel like that's what a lot of its about-- beyond just looks, money, family, etc etc, CHEMISTRY is supreme (right after Godliness, haha).


So, i will be patient.
after all, even the best fairy tales wouldn't be the same if Aladdin ended up with Ariel, or if Prince Charming ended up with Belle, right? :) i'll just have to wait until that perfect moment and chance where that one in 3.4 billionth guy will come along and woo me away. Cliche, but true.

till then,

adieu <3

memory

i heard once that there are two kinds of happy memories:

one, there are those memories where you look back and you realize that you were happy, even though you didn't know it at the moment.
two, there are those memories where in the moment, you recognize and embrace how happy you are, and even after that instance you feel the warmth and joy of that time for many years to come.

i think this is why so often i tend to hold onto the past. there are so many good memories there where I know I was happy, that it's difficult to let go...
or maybe, i don't necessarily have to let go.
maybe i can keep them for a while longer and linger in them from time to time, but remember that there will be many moments like that to come. or at least i hope they will.



i hate this quote because it's so cliche but...
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." — Dr. Seuss


adieu <3

praise.

Great is your faithfulness;
You never change, you never fail oh God.
it still amazes me that you are the same God whom i met many years ago... the same God who touched me with your awesome glory in middle school... the same God who approached me with peace and healing in high school.
Your glory is boundless, your mercy is unending.

even though i am so, SO inadequate in all ways, you shine through my weaknesses.
you found me and saved me in my darkest moments, and you inspire me to live this life more fully.
may you be glorified and exemplified in all the days of my life.

so at dinner with a friend today, i was given some very valuable advice.

"next time you find someone, make sure he impresses you."

someone special. not someone who's just nice or funny, but someone who's truly different and unique.
(:

change

I don't know what it is these days, but I'm just feeling so blue!
maybe it's the constant downpour of rain that we've been experiencing these days in Seattle... maybe it's the fact that it's DEADWEEK, and i feel absolutely unmotivated to study.
ughhh. i'm sucking :(

therefore, i'm going to do try to make some changes in my life starting today! goal time!

1. stop being lazy; work out five out of seven days a week
2. study EVERY DAY. NO MORE SLACKING!
3. pray, and read the Word every day. If i need wisdom or encouragement, i need to go to the source!
4. no sweets till lent is over... sigh.
5. read more. (: at least one book every two weeks.

oh, and i'm chopping off my hair. new goals, new hair! haha :) hopefully i won't look too ridiculous.




adieu. <3

friendships

friendships, i've learned, will always go through seasons.
sometimes, it'll feel like there's no one closer to you in the world than that one person.
sometimes, you'll wonder if you even knew that person at all.

but what i realize, after all the years of joy and heartbreak, is that in the end, God will bring the people in my life who are meant to be in it... and of course, he can take them right out.
no use fighting it or getting angry at God/life,
because in the end, He knows what's best for us. (:

:(

the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not be in want.

I shall not be in want.
I shall not be in want.

ahhhh i'm trying God, I really, really am.

free

for the first time in a very, very long time, my soul feels unburdened.
My heart is light, though there is much to do.
i feel a joy resonating from the depths of my heart,
my soul feels as if it's been set on fire.

I've been asking me what made me feel this way, out of no where.
i've come down to the conclusion that it's not me, it's Him.
That's how i know this is real.
It's not something that I'm trying to make myself feel.
it's truly God himself, pouring out his blessings and his sweet presence over my life over these last few days.
I feel so blessed and overjoyed.



Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

guilt.

i was looking through her facebook, randomly, yesterday.
it's as if she never left us.
it's as if i would still go to that one English class in high school and have her sitting behind me, busily chatting away with her friends.
it's as if i would go back to that one day when we had that a Shakesphere project to do at her house; her cheerful, optimistic self plugging away diligently at the task.
...it's hard to believe she's not here anymore.
I know I wasn't that close to her, especially towards the end of her life, when we both went our separate ways... and i'm not sure if i impacted her life in anyway...
to be honest, i probably didn't.

that's what makes me uneasyy


it makes me sick to think, that my beautiful, sweet friend,
isn't in heaven. I might never be able to see her again.


my fault. i could have told her.
my fault. i should have told her.
my fault. i'm so sorry.

2.14.11

‎"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." --Marilyn Monroe




Happy Valentines Day, all :)

Couldn't have said it better myself..

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms..."

-- Iris from The Holiday

patience

is key.


or so they say... hm.