free

for the first time in a very, very long time, my soul feels unburdened.
My heart is light, though there is much to do.
i feel a joy resonating from the depths of my heart,
my soul feels as if it's been set on fire.

I've been asking me what made me feel this way, out of no where.
i've come down to the conclusion that it's not me, it's Him.
That's how i know this is real.
It's not something that I'm trying to make myself feel.
it's truly God himself, pouring out his blessings and his sweet presence over my life over these last few days.
I feel so blessed and overjoyed.



Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

guilt.

i was looking through her facebook, randomly, yesterday.
it's as if she never left us.
it's as if i would still go to that one English class in high school and have her sitting behind me, busily chatting away with her friends.
it's as if i would go back to that one day when we had that a Shakesphere project to do at her house; her cheerful, optimistic self plugging away diligently at the task.
...it's hard to believe she's not here anymore.
I know I wasn't that close to her, especially towards the end of her life, when we both went our separate ways... and i'm not sure if i impacted her life in anyway...
to be honest, i probably didn't.

that's what makes me uneasyy


it makes me sick to think, that my beautiful, sweet friend,
isn't in heaven. I might never be able to see her again.


my fault. i could have told her.
my fault. i should have told her.
my fault. i'm so sorry.

2.14.11

‎"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." --Marilyn Monroe




Happy Valentines Day, all :)