dream a bigger dream.

Lately, this has been a reoccuring thought in my mind. As i was watching my daily korean soap operas, as I was [finally] reading the UW common book 'Dreams from my father' by Obama, as I was conversing in my relationship with Christ, and as i was just doing some self reflecting, i was reminded once again that there is so much more to life than what i had imangined.

For instance, in my latest favorite Korean drama, Queen Seon Duk, which is based on a true historical story, I was inspired as I watched the rise of the first Shillaian Empress. Her journey to assume the position as an Empress was like an impossible miracle. She was abandoned as a child and was expected to live a life in obscurity. However without knowing who she truly was, fate led her to disguise herself as a male warrior to enter the palace. Determined to piece together the clues of her true identity, she found herself at the doorstep of her hidden past. At the dramatic climax of when she discovers that she is a princess, she loses her one and only sister to death, then loses her first true love to ambition as she realizes her own fate; that she was to become an empress to lead her country. As the story progresses, she ascends to the throne by fighting against her enemies with her wisdom and cautious judgement.
Through it all though, one comment that she said stuck out to me. When asked how she will lead her people, she said "I will not lead my people by fear or by false intimidation as my predecessors have. I will lead my people with hope; hope, which has the power to restore this broken nation and bind it together again." (loosely translated)

Life, as i have experienced it so far, seems like it has flown by too quickly. Not that these past years haven't been a blessing; I admit, i have had fun, and i have had my fair share of unforgettable moments. However, I feel like i have been living the last [almost] nineteen years of my life dazed, not really headed anywhere, not really wanting anything.
As I am reading, watching, and learning more about important historical figures of the past and of today, I am realizing that it was not only their upbringing or their fortunate luck that led them to leave their mark on history. After all, many leaders, including Barack Obama, didn't have the wealthiest or the most "together" beginnings (meaning that they didn't really know their calling from the start).
It was their impossible visions, made from life experiences, self-reflections, and convicting whispers from destiny. It was their determination to reach their goals past adversities and walls. It was their child-like faith of knowing that they could make a positive difference for the betterment of humantiy. Most importantly, it was their courage to embrace their great, mysterious destinies before them that made them boldly emerge as leaders. And of course, I believe that it was God's hand which led these individuals to do great things, according to the plan He had for their lives.

I too would like to dream a bigger dream. I too would like to leave my mark on history.
I have no idea where destiny is beckoning me, but I do know that my God has a bigger plan for me than I think.
I refuse to be content with the ordinary.


Alas, "Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them"(Shakespeare). Dream a bigger dream, and make this breath of a life count.

chasing butterflies.

Have any of you guys felt as if your writing has just hit the ceiling? haha, of course, not in the literal sense... but i mean, have you ever felt like you just can't express what you want to convey with words?

I was trying to write a post on how what I was going through these days just a couple moments ago, but instead i found myself staring blankly at my computer screen. I knew exactly what i wanted to say, but i had no idea how th hell i wanted to say it. haha...

When i'm writing, i have a very peculiar thought process. Actually, I can't even call it process, because it's more like an electric impulse of words and thoughts that comes to mind out of the blue, then onto a page. I call it word vomit, heh.
I've really only been able to describe with this one picture: it's as if I am running and jumping around in a huge green field, trying to randomly catch one butterfly out of a bajillion that are flying frantically in the sky.
yep. it's THAT random.

Somehow, if that "butterfly" (aka idea) that i happen to catch fits what's on my heart and mind, i run with it and create an image. Of course, it takes a lot of backtracking and editing to complete what I want to say, but in the end, the puzzle pieces come together.

Knowing this, and knowing how eclectic my thought process is, I really wish I can become a person who is skilled with words. I earnestly desire to be someone who can utter and write piercing words that are meaningful, thought provoking, and profound.


Where do I start? are good writers just born, or are they created? what do you think?